Tamara asks me every so often, "when it was that I knew she was the one". Well, I always have to scramble for an answer. But the real answer is easy. It was when she gave me an empty box. Actually, it was when she gave me a watch, but the empty box was pretty good too. Read about it here.

Every Christmas when I was young and still living at home, My dad (Santa Claus) would get me and my brother's a new watch. I didn't always wear a watch growing up. Often the watches would go all year without being worn except on Christmas day. But when I left home and went away to College, the watches stopped coming at Christmas. My dad probably figured I was grown up enough to buy my own darn watch. The problem was that, by the time I was out of college, I was having to be responsible and work and be on time and stuff like that. By then I had broken or lost all of my watches. I made due and learned how to get by without a watch. I figured I had lots of friends, and eventually someone would give me a watch. But no watch ever showed up. From the time I was 21 until I was 33, I never received a watch as a gift.

After a few years it became a challenge for me to learn how to get by without one. I got pretty good at it, and still don't look at my watch very often. It was comical, though, how often my friends would always tell me that I needed a watch, and almost in the same sentence tell me how hard I was to shop for. Over the years these things just seem to build on themselves to where it becomes a game. A couple of years into the watch drought I was convinced that when I finally did get a watch from someone, they would have a pretty good understanding of me.

(Since Tamara and I never discuss our previous dating experiences, she should skip this next paragraph)

One year, for my birthday, a woman I was dating was having a hard time finding me a gift. So I showed up 15 minutes late for a date about a week before the birthday. When she asked me why I was late, I said I just lost track of time and maybe if I had a watch I could do better. Yep! I hinted! The next day she called to tell me she had found the perfect b-day gift for me and that I would be so happy when I got it. I thought, finally somebody gets it! When my birthday came, I opened my gift to find a shirt. It was a nice shirt, but it wasn't what I was hoping for. That was the last time I ever hinted about a watch. A few months later I realized that girl just didn't want to get to know me, and we split up. Because of that story the watch took on even more meaning for me though.

Each time I didn't get a watch when I was expecting one, it would become a bigger deal. It took on symbolism, that if someone were to give me a watch they would want me to be a better person, and that they would care if I'm on-time to meetings, etc... I think it was around the time that I turned 30, when it hit me that I should just go ahead and marry the girl that gives me a watch. Because she would really know me and care about me. Seems kind of quirky, but I was convinced it would be a sign.

I don't know the exact date, or even what time of day it was. I just remember, that one day Tamara and her mother went shopping at the jewelry mart in San Francisco. Always a scary moment in any man's life. They stopped by the office on their way home. I opened the door and Tamara said she got something for me. Her mom pulled out a gold colored card board box and handed it to me. When I first saw the size and shape of the box, I thought "they got me a watch!". Having figured it out before I even opened it, I would try to look surprised opening the box. I took the box and started to open it saying "Alright! you got me ..." then I popped open the lid to see the box was empty "...an EMPTY BOX!". By now I was experienced at expecting watches for gifts and not getting them. I was honestly content with my empty box, although, I wasn't sure what they were trying to say to me, or why I needed an empty box. Tamara's mother screamed "WHAT!" and grabbed the box from my hands. I think she opened the box to confirm that my vision was working properly.  She quickly started searching the bag, her pockets, Tamara's pockets, etc... She exclaimed "IT MUST STILL BE IN THE CAR! and ran towards the car. I looked at Tamara and said, "but it's a nice box, is there supposed to be something else?" Tamara said yes and ran off with her mother. They frantically searched the car, and came back saying they found it.

Tamara's mom handed it to me saying "HERE!". Sure enough it was a watch! I try to wear it everyday and have managed to keep it in good operation. You're going to think this is funny. I'm not the most sentimental person, but after all those years, I completely understood the thought behind the gift of a watch. I knew that if I ever got one, it would be from someone who really cared. In this case it really was the thought that counted!

So Tamara, even though I always dodge your question on when did I first know... "It was when you gave me a watch for no particular reason, other than I didn't have one".